Place tofu onto a plate and place another plate on top. Set a 3- to 5-pound weight on top. Press tofu for 20 to 30 minutes; drain and discard the accumulated liquid. Slice into 1/2- to 1-inch thick slabs wide enough for easy flipping.

Mix soy sauce, rice vinegar, lime juice, coconut oil, tamarind paste, garlic, ginger, and chili-garlic sauce together in a square container. Fit the tofu slabs in the marinade so they are submerged; marinate at least 15 minutes. Transfer tofu to a oven-proof plate, reserving the marinade.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

Combine cabbage, carrots, daikon, red bell pepper, and onion in a skillet over medium heat. Add 1/4 cup water; saute vegetables until tender, 10 to 15 minutes.

Bake tofu in the preheated oven, flipping after 15 minutes, until dry, 30 to 40 minutes. Chop tofu into smaller pieces.

Whisk flaxseed meal, peanut butter, chili powder, black salt, and stevia into the marinade. Let sit until sauce is thickened, about 5 minutes.

Stir kelp noodles and bean sprouts into the cabbage mixture in the skillet; cook and stir until softened and heated through, about 2 minutes. Mix in the sauce; cook and stir until sauce thickens and sticks to the noodles, about 5 minutes. Add chopped tofu, green onions, peanuts, and cilantro.