"For years I've endured paying $1 for a patty at the store feeling like I could figure out the recipe, but never could until now. Eureka! Mock chicken patties that taste marvelous on a bun with fixin's or slathered in gravy, Texas-style. Very good stuff."
Place a steamer insert into a saucepan and fill with water to just below the bottom of the steamer. Bring water to a boil. Add onion and celery, cover, and steam until tender, 2 to 3 minutes.
Place tofu and water in a blender or food processor. Pulse briefly. Add bouillon cubes and vegetable base. Pulse until completely combined. Stir in onion, celery, oats, and cashews until evenly distributed.
Form tofu mixture into patties.
Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat. Cook tofu patties until golden brown, about 3 minutes per side.