By Carl Hanson

Take the one question quiz.

What Is This?

a.) A cup of coffee.

b.) A cup of black coffee.

c.) Wait, that's not tea, is it?

d.) A cup of hand-milled, shade-grown, sustainably produced organic coffee -- brewed using only pure artesian spring water drawn from ancient, glacial-fed, deep-cavern aquifers -- double-gravity extracted and precision poured into a ceramic mug; a mug that was hand-thrown from regional clay on a foot-turned wheelhead and craft-fired in a thermally insulated, slope-stoked kiln, and then sold direct-to-the-consumer from a collective studio-gallery on Vashon Island.

Quiz results will be available during office hours. But in the meantime...

If you suspect you are a Seattle coffee drinker, or just aspire to be one, here's Eater Seattle's guide: Where to Drink Coffee in Seattle

Meanwhile, The New York Times travelled to Paris, the Seattle on the Seine, to meet with Parisian coffee gods. Their mission? To learn "how to discern a mediocre roast from an exceptional one, and the difference between trend and technique."

Good news for people not travelling to Paris: These rules for "How to Discern an Exceptional Cup of Coffee in Paris" apply to anywhere in the world, including your home town.

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