Heinz Seriously Wants to Combine Cranberry Sauce and Turkey Gravy
Your vote may force them to put an April Fools' joke into production.
While April Fools' Day has come and gone, Thanksgiving is achingly far away. How are we to pass these long months between these celebrations of fools and food?
Perhaps the best way to do that is by taking an idea that surely started out as some sort of joke and turning it into a reality through the power of digital democracy. For a limited time, Heinz and Ocean Spray are giving fans of gravy and/or cranberry sauce the chance to express their desire for "Cravy," an unprecedented, unholy fusion of cranberry sauce and gravy that definitely doesn't look like jarred vomit.
Though it clearly started as a bit of 4/1 folly, Heinz has suggested they're crazy enough to partner with Ocean Spray to combine cranberry sauce and gravy in a single jar — so long as 250,000 fans are crazy enough to vote "Indeed" in a Twitter poll soliciting opinions about the potential mashup. Maybe they're just trying to assess the size of the market before putting anything like this into production.
As weird as it is, the idea for Cravy is so crazy it just might work. Any big turkey fan knows that gravy and cranberry sauce often end up swirling together on a dinner plate anyway, so maybe this process can save a bit of time (a la Mayostard). Heinz has also been no stranger to bottled condiment combinations that nobody really asked for, as evidenced by everything from Tarchup to Buffaranch. So really, this would just be a kind of seasonal take on the brand's existing belief that any two condiments who can coexist on a plate should be bottled together.
Whether you strongly believe that the world needs Cravy or you just want to introduce a bit of chaos to the condiment aisle with a few clicks, you can vote in Heinz's very scientific poll until April 7, which is probably longer than the shelf life of an April Fools' stunt like this anyway. Still, it's nice to have the chance to vote for something really important for a change.