By Carl Hanson
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As the calendar turns to a new year, food writers turn to speculation over what exciting foods we'll be exploring in the coming months. But we're taking the food-trend talk in the opposite direction. We've come from the future, and can report: 2020 will not be the year for these food trends. Yes, it's true, you'll go one more year without sampling these curious delicacies.

1. Chicken Ready: Whole Chicken In a Can

The whole-chicken-in-a-can is ready...but are you? Maybe in 2020.

2. Salt N' Vinegar Crickettes

Attention: These are not Salt N' Vinegar Chiclets. Which, if they were actually a thing, would also make the list.

3. Fish Goulash

Goulash sounds delicious. Fish goulash a little less so. Fish goulash in a can, maybe not today.

4. Grasshopper: The Other Green Meat

I'm not clear on what the other, other green meat is. But save me a drumstick.

5.) Green Bean Casserole

It makes canned cranberry sauce seem completely legit.

6. Silkworm

I'm sure they make lovely sweaters and scarves, though.

7. All Day Breakfast

It's all-day breakfast because you are not getting up from the table, young man, until you finish your breakfast!

Photo by Carl Hanson

8. Bacon Gum

Finally, a solution for when you can't decide between eating bacon and chewing gum.

9. Unicorn Snacks

No actual unicorns were harmed in the making of this product.