Today it's being reported -- well, almost literally everywhere -- that Amazon has confirmed its plans to buy Whole Foods. When I first started to type out the purchase price, I began to write 13.7 million. Then double-checked. No, make that 13.7 billion.

Turns out the most expensive thing at Whole Foods, is—Whole Foods! | Image by Whole Foods

Clearly, 13.7 billion is not a number my brain can even register, so I wanted to put it in terms I might actually be able to wrap my head around. With that in mind, here's what you can get at Whole Foods for 13.7 billion dollars. (Oh, and BTW, I had to use on online calculator because the one on my phone wouldn't go that high. That sorta made me feel a little better -- I am not alone.)

For 13.7 billion dollars, you can get:

  • 5,502,008,032 bunches of organic dino kale
  • 3,712,737,127 4-piece mochi packages (I may actually be able to eat this amount.)
  • 2,495,446,266 pounds of Whole Foods' cubed cantaloupe
  • 1,558,589,306 pounds of their organic peeled garlic (that stuff is handy, but not sure I need quite that much)
  • 3,925,501,433 bottles of my favorite kind of kombucha

I don't know that single-digit billions are easier to take in than double-digit billions, but it was worth a shot. The point is, it's a lot -- a lot, a lot. And with all the jokes out there already about how much it costs to shop at Whole Foods (which, I totally do -- so, no judgment!), you had to know these tweets were coming: